I’M NOT READY YET
By Rick Mathes
Walking down a metal cat-walk past prison cells of convicts is an awesome experience that is novel and exhilarating every time. There is an electrifying adventure about it that cannot be adequately described. You never know which prisoner will reach out for Jesus and be saved. It is thrilling to look a prisoner in the eyes with love and encourage him to accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour. I can imagine that this feeling has similarities to a hunter in the midst of perilous jungles seeking the prey and being sought by the predator. The spiritual combat is indescribable in this heart of hell, called a cell-block. A locus, a concentration of evil. Satan’s turf.
It was in this sense of spiritual adventurism that I was followed by a blue uniformed guide to the prison chapel. We approached the stairwell, serpentine corridors and vacated court yards. Each lower floor level became darker, dirtier and more austere until we leveled off on a dingy walkway with the strongest aroma of stench I have ever smelled!
This was the dungeon within the dungeon for detention of the most evil offenders. A dimly illuminated community of “slickers.” A slicker is an incommodious drab cell with bricked-in windows, no cot, sink or toilet. Nothing but the pollution of an endless number of previous residents. No attempt whatsoever had been made to clean up. A hole in the floor dropped directly into the cesspool that was rumored to back up regularly in these cells. This was the home for those who were ill-suited to live with the other residents. Rejected by their own kind! The odor caused me to gag and gasp for air.
The officer was determined to hustle me out of this, “No Visitor” area. His stride picked up and I was close on his heels escaping this restricted zone. The wall shackles dated back to before the Civil War era of slavery. The men were strangely hushed, either seated on the floor or standing up with a drugged glaze in their eyes. No sound. Silence. No radio, televisions or even idle chatter. A thick dark cloud of oppression; Satan was there.
One of these pathetic captives caught my attention. What I saw and what he said to me has everlastingly cemented itself in my memory as though it just happened yesterday.
He was crouched like a creature on the cement floor. If you looked closely you could see the filth he sat in undulate with the vermin that lived in it. He wore only his grossly stained underwear and his hair was standing out in a frightful, wild fashion. He eyes were bulging and yellow. His fingernails long and his toenails curling under. His matted beard barely hid his rotted teeth and infected mouth.
I spoke out, “You need to accept Jesus Christ as both your Saviour and Lord!” He didn’t arouse. I cried out another time, “Jesus is your only salvation. It’s time to repent and receive Jesus!” He turned and looked me full in the face but gave no indication of reply. Finally, the guard angrily took my arm to keep me moving. I shouted behind me, “Why won’t you do this?” I will never forget his heart wrenching reply. “I’m not ready to give it all up yet.”
I was horrified as he left my sight but not my spirit. I still mourn over those who still repeat those words, “I’m not ready to give it all up yet.”
PRESS ON!
Rick Mathes 